10-04-2020

EBay sales: 0

Craft Projects Completed: 0

To Do List Completed:

  • Replaced light bulb in hallway
  • Replaced light bulb in bathroom
  • Listed on eBay
  • Picked up items purchased at auction (and resisted petting the cat there)

#MilWordy Update: 60,548 words (2,830 words/day to complete on time)

Despite the fact that I’m feeling completely unproductive because I haven’t managed to spend any time writing yet today and I didn’t hit my word count yesterday. This is getting a little ridiculous because I know very well that I can do this. I think I may have to resurrect “Write or Die” to get myself back on track.

I highly recommend Write or Die. it works for me really well because it starts sounding an alarm when you stop writing. Avoiding that annoying sound is motivation enough to keep typing. I have never been brave enough to let it start deleting if I stop typing. I’ve lost words due to program crashes and it’s hell. I can’t volunteer for that. My general practice is to set the number of words I need as 2500/45 minutes. It’s doable. At least for me. And this is why I haven’t figured out why I can’t manage to hit my MilWordy numbers every day. I mean, I understand that stress messes with my brain. I understand that right now the world is very stressful. The thing is, writing has always been my escape. And losing that escape is pretty scary.

Let’s step away from the emotional stuff for different emotional stuff. Writing has been hard, but so has finishing things on my to do list in general. I’m guessing it’s a larger problem of executive dysfunction or dysthymia, so I am trying to be kind to myself. That doesn’t stop the frustration though. The light bulb on the hallway has been out for about a week.

Now, the light bulb in the highway was in the ceiling and near the back stairs, which activated my heights issues. I forced myself up to the top platform of the stepstool and changed the bulb. (Nine foot up and doing my best not to look down the stairs.) Some things are harder than they seem. And this is a call-out to everyone to be kind to themselves. Some things which are trivial to some people are really hard for others. For example — walking from the car to the door of a store. This is not an issue for me, but it is an issue for my mother. Or crawling up a ladder. This is hard for me. I’ve never been happy on them, but it’s an act of will to force myself to climb more than four-five steps on a ladder.

That being said, I have climbed on a mountain and repelled. My summary: I survived. I cried. And if the plane has crashed and NO ONE else in the area can manage to climb the mountain, I will do it and light a fire on the ridge so that someone can find us. I will not be repelling back down unless I need to for food.

With that, I’ll sign off. Love, luck, and pumpkin spice, sweethearts!

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