BitterSuites

eBay Sales: none

#MilWordy Update: 104,832 words (3,445 words/day to complete)

Today has been completely unproductive and I’ve been randomly emotional. Picture of a kitten? tears. Picture of an old man being helped home by a pack of teens? tears. Picture of Mickey Mouse in a Santa hat? tears.

Is it stress? Is it a side effect of a med? Is it my blood sugars? The world (and I) will likely never know.

Just, one of those days. Here’s to tomorrow. Peace, dear-hearts.

eBay Sales: salad plates, 3 books, flashlight, and… other stuff which I have forgotten because it has been such a long time since I bothered to actually update this site. *winces* I was trying to be an every day blogger, but then… 2020. Just 2020 man.

#MilWordy Update: 101,083 words (3379 words/day to complete on time)

Craft Projects: Zero completed. Zero started. It’s looking increasingly as though these will not be completed this year. And that does not shock me. My brain has been overloaded by stress for months now.

Today’s big adventure is the chair that collapsed underneath me today while I was working. I have a feeling that I will have bruises in the strangest of spots tomorrow. I mean, my bum is expected. My shoulderblade, the inside of my finger, the tip of my nose, not so much. It was a modern chair in the Victorian style that I bought second-hand. It looks as though it had been repaired previously. It still annoys me. And I’ll need to take some pain meds in hopes of forestalling the aches and pains which will inevitably creep up overnight. On the plus side, I did not hit my head, so no concussion worries.

So now I am using an *actual* Victorian chair that’s made of solid wood in the Neo-Gothic tradition. The upholstery makes me cringe. (It’s radioactive caterpillar puke green. Appropriate for a Victorian chair, but with less arsenic. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.) I was planning to use it as my weaving chair, but needs must. At least it will enforce appropriate posture. Have you ever tried to lean back in a Gothic chair with carvings? Ouch. Made for corsets to contact, not an unprotected back. Maybe it will help my back? Eh. Who knows.

Nano was a wash, as you know, but MilWordy is still going strong. And I think I can get back on track. I know that three-thousand words a day sounds daunting, but it’s still doable.

I started digitizing some of my work from the nineties. Poetry most of it. And… yeah, the nineties were not great for my emotional health. College was not a fun time for me. And I really wouldn’t want to go back to it. But, it’s the holidays and I have fond memories of one person. I don’t even really remember her name — if I ever knew it.

We would meet up maybe twice a year. She was a sorority sister. I think I remember her wearing her letters. It was never an organized thing. That would mean that we’d exchanged names and phone numbers. Or that we emailed each other. I don’t know that we ever actually had a class together, though I vaguely think we had a core type class — stats or something.

But on a random day, evening usually, we would end up in the basement of the library. It was dark down there, with lights on a movement switch. The overhead lights would go out, but there were desk lights in the study carrols. The stacks down there were the space-saver type that you could crank open or closed. And no one, but no one studied down there — except for me. And her. I think I’m going to call her Jenny, just to have something to use. So, in that dark evening, in the quiet of the library, we would talk. Jenny and I talked about everything. Absolutely everything. Class troubles, interpersonal issues, missing home, and future plans. And it was like dropping secrets into a well.

And then we’d not see each other for another semester. It was often just before finals, or just after a big test that we’d find each other and talk.

And I don’t know if she understands exactly how much those days helped me. That strange intimacy that never saw the outside. Let’s call this my thank you note. Jenny kept me from crying on the phone to my mother in that library basement. Kept me solid when I was having issues with my roommates. And kept me on-track to get out of that place with my sanity intact.

That library and its inhabitants saved me more than once. And to “Jenny” whether she was a ghost, an angel, or just a human girl who felt the need to reach out: Thank You. You made a difference. And I hope I helped you in return.

eBay sales: Face serum, napkin rings

#MilWordy Update: 96,976 words (3,272 words/day to complete)

#NaNoWriMo Update: 12,236 words (18,882 words/day to complete)

It looks as though Nano is going to be a wash for me this year. At the same time though, I’ve actually gotten the book started and I know where it’s heading is not where I thought it was going to go. And that’s okay. It’s in the same universe. And we know how she’s connected to that universe, but it’s not the main thrust of the story any longer. Now, it’s still got elements of that first plot in there, but it’s not all about that plot anymore. She’s got a scavenger hunt to complete, and a new client to take on if she wins that. She’s meeting people she didn’t think she would and she’s learning that she doesn’t need to know where she came from to know who she is. That’s of course the real thrust of the book. It’s not about the hunt, but what she learns along the way. And the way she learns to interact with the people she loves and who rely on her. That’s all great and I wouldn’t have gotten there if I hadn’t had some productive sprints with the writers I hang out with and Nano in general.

MilWordy on the other hand, is still going well enough that I’m not worried about it. The goals for the numbers can seem daunting, but I’ve actually finished more short stories and developed an entire series out of working consistently on it. And I’ve dragged someone along with me, so I’m not fighting through it alone. That’s a good thing too. I can usually convince her to sprint with me, even if there’s not a larger group going. Our group has even got a word-sprint Discord channel now, which means that sometimes people just pop in and see if anyone is up to writing. Which, I might have to just pop into tonight as well.

This has been a weird week and holiday weekend at any rate. I’ve been getting a lot done and feel like I’ve been incredibly lazy at the same time. We’ll have to see how I manage my new schedule though. I don’t want to let anything slip, but I still need to maintain a proper balance.

I’m off to the new job in the morning. Wish me luck, my lovelies.

eBay Sales: napkin rings, 1 plush, 1 book, sweater, vintage cassette tape, cupcake wraps

#MilWordy Update: 96,263 (3,263 words/day to complete)

#NaNoWriMo Update: 12,236 words (12,588 words/day to complete)

Writing wise, this week has been a complete collapse. I didn’t even attend the write-ins that I normally do, or the writing group. It wasn’t any one thing in particular. Rather, it was me taking a week to recharge and get ready to move forward into a new adventure.

I spent most of the week cleaning one way or another. Whether that was throwing things out, scrubbing the fingerprints off the doors, or just moving things to make room for Thanksgiving dinner. It’s like I’ve turned a corner somewhere and I am actually motivated to put things away and add more to the sell/donate piles. It might be the excitement of a new job, but it might just be feeling healthier and less stressed.

I’ve been doing the little things too, like setting up the GPS for the new office, finishing up paperwork, and setting up my briefcase and deciding what to wear. Heck, I don’t expect to be walking half a mile, so I might actually break out the girly shoes that I so rarely wear. It’s been sneakers or flats for most of the last four years. The campus was just too big to be wearing shoes with heels.

Likewise, I’ve been prepping my work spaces. Putting my art supplies in their proper place and doing the classwork necessary to pursue a certification that I want in place by the end of the year. My to do list has actually gotten shorter and longer. Some bigger pieces have been finished, but there’s still a lot to do.

We put away the last of the fall decor on Friday and the house seems empty. Almost like a blank canvas. It’s become a liminal space, just waiting for the Christmas decorating to start. We’re probably going to start tackling that tomorrow and my back is already wary. We’re going to be a little more ruthless with downsizing the Christmas items. I promise myself this every year. Last year I did manage to release a bunch of Hallmark ornaments that we never put up. There’s a lot more where those came from though. They were a favorite present for several years in our family.

The mantel has the everyday bits still on it and we’ve already changed out the tapers from light green to red. I’m debating whether we’re going with nutcrackers, santas, or something completely different this year. Maybe it will be white and silvers. There is a chocolate brown background and there’s fruit florals on the candles and mirror already. Maybe I’ll go full on Victorian around the mantel and put the mid-century stuff on the bar top. Though we’ve got a collection of Aflac plushes to live there. Decisions, decisions.

I managed to get through an entire bag worth of eBay listings today. if I can manage to do the same thing tomorrow, that will help clear out the room where the tree lives. It’s next to the good napping couch and the piano. And it’s where we’ve had the tree every year. We’ll need to redo the entryway near the front stairs where the White House Ornament tree lives. And we’re going to have to face the facts that if I can’t carry boxes or trees, they’re going to either have to leave the house or be spread out into different boxes. My father doesn’t know when to take a break, but my lungs dislike going up and down stairs. (For medical reasons, not just “out of shape” reasons.)

That’s probably enough of me rambling for the day. It’s my second favorite time of the year coming. (Halloween is my favorite.) I just can’t seem to break myself of the gushing habit about it.

Now, I have to see what horrible song this is that Pandora has decided to add to my playlist. For your knowledge: It’s “The Werewolf” by Paul Simon. It’s a protest song and I don’t have objections to it in a larger sense. But it does not belong on my Calypso inspired station. *shakes head* Could be worse. Could be the Coldplay curse infecting my stream.

Talk to you all tomorrow, my dears.